My Cousin's Wedding- Part 3

OK, so we just finished the ceremony. It's already cold, and we're not allowed in the Greenhouse. Eventually the wedding party finishes with pictures, and the reception gets started. Appetizers are passed, and there is a HUGE cheese and fruit tray close to the bar. My family and I start scoping out the drink selection. We notice the cash register and begin to assume that it is a cash bar. Total side eye in my family, but we'll go with it. As we approach, we discover that there is free beer and wine (score!) but they are charging for soda! Really? How strange. Hard liquor is also available for a fee. We're good with wine though.

Appetizers are: bacon wrapped scallops with maple syrup dipping sauce, spring rolls with a Thai peanut sauce, and crab cakes with a wasabi aioli. All in all, they were very good. Well, the food started around 6 or so. We began sitting down for salads around 7:15 or so. By this point, people are noticing that it is chilly in that greenhouse and we all wonder when they are going to turn on the heaters. Then the news starts flowing through the reception. There will be no heat. That's right, they will not be turning on the heaters. What?!

So, we eat our salads, then they decide to have the first dance. THEN THEY OPEN THE DANCE FLOOR! Who does this? Really? Full on dancing between salad and entree? What time is dinner to be served you ask? 8:30 or 8:45. That's a full hour between courses! OMG! So we get colder and colder. Actually, we start talking about busting in to the cake we're so hungry. The kids are tired, and we're all freaking cold. Eventually the food arrives. It is a buffet dinner. Wouldn't you assume that they would release the tables? That's how everyone else does it. But no. They don't even announce that the buffet is open! You just have to kind of notice that other people have their food. Niiice.

After everyone eats, it is time for toasts. Now I get to discuss what a tool my cousin's new husband is. First, he starts by thanking everyone for coming, etc. My cousin never speaks. He has also changed his outfit three times by this point in the evening. The best woman and maid of honor also give their speeches. K's husband talks again, and we are invited to start on cake.

Now I have to talk about the highlight of the weekend. Each table had its own cake that had been made by a friend of the couple. There was carrot cake, chocolate cake, apple pie, pecan pie, chocolate peanut butter s'mores tart, and, on our table, pumpkin cheesecake. Mmmmm. We were encouraged to trade and try several types. I got to taste three and they were all fabulous! Did it make up for the fact that we were sitting basically outside in the 30 degree weather? No. But it was some awesome cake and a fun idea.

Pretty much as soon as we were done with our cake, we left. We had originally planned to go out and socialize after the event, but we were all so cold and exhausted that we just went back to our rathole and went to bed. My plane left at 7:00 the next morning, so that was it for me. My cousin was kind of a bitch until after the cake course. My other cousin's wife and I were talking about how we don't remember letting ourselves get so caught up in the wedding day. Everyone else agreed that we were better about thinking of others and all that on our weddings. I think it was because our events were so much better planned. K's new husband is also a total tool. He ran around the reception saying that the food service people were messing up and that his heaters hadn't been delivered. However, the food people had a printed copy of the schedule, and they were right on it, and he had mentioned to my dad that there would be no heat well before the actual day. Whatever though. I hope they are happy together, and I am glad I got to see my family.

Here ends the story of the wedding. Little children, let this be a lesson to you. Even though you are having a wedding to celebrate your marriage, remember to show a little care for your guests. (And if your cousin gets Swine Flu because of freezing her ass off at your poorly planned shindig, you should have to work in her place.)