My Cousin's Wedding- Part 2

So, it was time to get ready for the wedding. To understand how hard that was, let's look at the invite. I have actually misplaced the card itself, but it was a 4x4 red piece of card stock with round stickers on it. On those stickers were handwritten the date, time, and location of the wedding. Also listed was the wedding website where we were to RSVP. Once at the website, we were asked to participate in the wedding (organizing the hike, taking care of the dog, etc.) The dress code was also listed as Fabulous. Fabulous? What does that mean? The illustrations showed us some don'ts. These included a Star Trek costume, a cassok, or sweats. How helpful, no? Now, I have always heard that the invite gives you the general idea of a wedding's formality. Well, this was really screaming low key wedding. My cousin-in-law though was totally planning on a dressy outfit as was my aunt. Hmmm. I ended up wearing black suit pants, a short-sleeved purple tweed jacket, and a purple turtleneck. Sort of a step up from business casual. Let me tell you that I ended up being quite grateful for my choices.

We get to the ceremony location. The service was scheduled to be outside, and my dad, a minister, was officiating. The weather was getting chilly, and there was a pretty strong breeze. It wasn't terrible though because the sun was shining. My family and I got our programs and kazoos. Kazoos you ask? I was also perplexed.

A few minutes past 5:00, the official start time, a lady walks to the front of the area. She gets everyone's attention and asks us to open our programs. We open the programs and there is music with lyrics in some language that isn't English. She says she is going to give us a German lesson and proceeds to explain to us how to pronounce all the German lyrics to Ode to Joy. She then tells is that this will be the recessional, and we are all asked to sing it as the couple leaves. If we really don't feel comfortable singing though, we can play our kazoos, WTF?

The ceremony itself was bizarre. First my dad greeted everyone in the pretty standard fashion. Then he said "K (did I mention K was marrying another K?) has a pretty cool groove." Then the cellist and electric marimba player played a jazzy riff. My dad then said, "K's vibe is pretty sweet too." And the musicians played another beat. Then he said, "but when they are combined things get even better." And then the two melodies are combined and they sound like ass. Really. At this point we're supposed to sing something, but none of us got that memo. I guess it was an interesting idea, but definitely not my style.

The vows were self-written. The groom read his on his iPhone, and the bride used paper. They pledged to be each other's soux chef, something, something, and henchman. Really? Henchman? The dog brought the rings except that the groom had gotten a tattoo of his on his finger. Klassy.

They then recessed, no one sang, and a member of the wedding party approached the front. Let's review now. The time is now about 5:20. The temperature is in the mid to low 40's and the wind is blowing. We are informed that the wedding party will be taking photos in the greenhouse and we are to "play lawn games" until the reception starts at 6:00. ????? You would think that my mom, brother, and I would be needed for photos, but no. We were thrown out of the greenhouse as not part of the family. How nice.

Next- The Reception, and here is where things get really good.