Job Interview

No, I'm not quitting. Despite the stress and exhaustion I'm feeling right now, I do like where I am. In fact, I like it so much that tomorrow I'm going to talk the the Head of School about the possibility of taking a more active role in the summer academy.

My current desire is really to move in to administration and make a bigger difference than just being another faculty member. I'm young and obviously very new to the school. That being said though, I have good ideas and fresh insights that I think could be great. We'll see. I spent some time yesterday talking to the person who is stepping down from the post.

Any spare vibes would be appreciated.

My Great Discovery

*Sorry for the girls from Dewey's the other night who already heard this.*
I did an accidental science experiment this week. In fact, I am such a superstar researcher that I even managed to only change one variable. Ha! Sunday I worked for DH all day, and then I was a greeter at church. After church, I met up with DH and a couple of his friends for a beer. I missed my usual Sunday night Food Network fix. Monday I got off work at the normal time, but I had a book club starting on Tuesday. I had yet to open the book so rather than watch DWTS, I read. Tuesday was book club, and I didn't get home until after 10:00! (When I have to leave the house by 6:30 every day, let me tell you that this is LATE for me.) Wednesday I noticed that I was actually feeling really good.

So I started thinking about what had changed this week. Work certainly wasn't less stressful, and there is still a ridiculous amount of housework to do. I'm not made of money nor have I lost the 20 pounds that need to go. What was the difference? TV! I wasn't watching it. Well, Wednesday I was out with friends. Thursday I tutored after work and then worked out with my trainer. It was one of the best workouts I've had in a while. (Well, best/worst are kind of interchangeable when it comes to working out aren't they?) After that I forced myself to not turn on the TV. I read instead. Guess what? I feel pretty good today. Tired because its Friday to be sure, but not totally dragging and dim-witted.

I've been asking myself what shows I cannot live without, and the answer is pretty much none. I think I'm going to try to sign off TV for the most part. Sure I'll still turn on the news in the morning, and I know I will want to catch the occasional SYTYCD, but I think I could get addicted to feeling this good. The next step will obviously be to turn the good feelings into productive work like grading and scrubbing bathroom fixtures. :)

Fascinating

We're doing an activity on the history of DNA. It is a scavenger hunt on the timeline of DNA's discovery. One of the questions asks about the first test tube baby, and the kids asked if test tube babies existed anymore. They were shocked when I told them that we just called it fertility treatments now. Kind of fun!

They then proceeded to tell me what the envisioned test tube babies being.

On pictured them like sea monkies:


Another thought it really was like this:

How to Process

I don't even know how to process, so please excuse the impending verbal diarrhea. We just got our student evaluations back. Overall I got good reviews, but some of the comments were just ridiculous. (Yes, I get it that I'm letting teenagers get under my skin.) There were definitely some kids who made constructive comments, and I will do my best to listen to them. Others though really just indicated that they either a. hated me, or b. thought that everything I did was crap. One kid even said I was "unfit" to teach them. Now, if you look at the percentages, this is a very small number, but I have no idea how all this information is processed.

The reality is that I try my best and work hard to help all of these kids. Do I think Chemistry moves too fast for most of them? Yes! What can I do about it though? There are 8 sections, and I have to stick to the same syllabus as everyone else since we give the same exam! Would they rather I slow down and then they not have all the material for the final? I'm just frustrated and worried because this is my first year here and I don't know what will come of these.

I really do think I generally do a good job, but I'm irritated and hurt right now.

Church

Church last night was amazing. I mean, I am always happy when I go, but last night was one of those nights when I really felt like the minster was speaking to me. He's currently working on a sermon series on parables. That's interesting but not totally noteworthy. However, he was talking about making commitments and following through with them. He spoke about how OCD people say yes to everything, and then feel so overwhelmed that everything they do is halfway. That is so me. I cannot say no, and I run around feeling overwhelmed all the time. I was crying in my car the other day about this exact problem! It felt so good to hear someone else talk about the problem, and I really left feeling a sense of peace.

Am I still overcommitted? Oh yeah. But I feel a renewed strength in terms of approaching everything with all my heart and then remembering to say no when new tasks are presented to me.

Happy Monday!

Parents and Their Kids

I've used this post title before, but perhaps it should become a regular feature. We had conferences for the past day and a half. One boy started off the year in a bad way. He wasn't doing his homework and his grade after the first month or so was an F. Recently though he has been busting his butt and trying to improve. In fact, he did a presentation in class earlier this week that was OUTSTANDING! Nevertheless, starting out with such a low grade means that his current average is still in the D's. The conference starts and I am praising this kid for all his recent work. Mom is pleased, kid looks like he's basking in the praise, but dad is sitting at the back of his chair with his arms crossed. About 7-8 minutes in to our 10 minute conference, dad speaks up and says something to the effect of his kid should be doing better since he was on track to take calculus in high school etc. He then says that if his son doesn't get an A in my class "he isn't my son." WTF? Who says that to their kid? In addition, who says that to their kid in the middle of a parent-teacher conference?

I told the dean about the comments, and he asked me to e-mail him the information because they were "tracking that type of behavior." It sounds like there is a real fear that dad is abusive and the school is trying to stay organized. I just wanted to hug that poor boy. I hope he knows that he can trust me and that I want what's best for him.

Conferences

Whew. These are a LONG couple of days. I had 16 yesterday between 4:00 and 8:30. Today we go from 7:30 to 4:00, and I have 30 appointments. Our only break is a 30 minute lunch. I like all the parents I've had a chance to meet with. They've been very nice and supportive, but I have a hard time seeing how I will be as "on" for my 30th meeting today as I will be for my 1st. I'll try though!

In other related work news, I feel like I am making a difference. We're in the process of revamping the curriculum, and after our last meeting, I just was not happy with how the Chemistry looked. The "new" courses weren't really new and didn't address our current concerns about how kids are learning science. This week I finally found time to reflect on what I would do. I came up with a rough idea, presented it to the department chair, and it was VERY warmly received. It looks like that is what we are going to do! I'm not going to lie, I feel pretty proud that I was able to do something like that.

DH's trade show is on Sunday. It will be a long day, but he always enjoys getting to see everyone, and it is a big money-maker for him. I know he will be stressed for the next 72 hours though, and he will be tired and cranky on Monday. Good thing conferences are now! It would be terrible if we were both falling apart at the same time. :)